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  Under The Influence - Bar Jokes - The Sailor & The Pirate

 A sailor and a pirate are drinking at a waterfront bar and they
 proceed to swap sea stories. The sailor notes the pirate's peg
 leg, eye patch and hook.
 
 "So tell me," asks the sailor, "how did you come to lose that
 leg?"
 
 "Arrgh," says the pirate, "'Twas a black squall swept me
 overboard. Whilst in the water, a shark snapped me leg off and
 I've had this peg leg ever since."
 
 "Wow!" says the sailor. "And how'd you get the hook?"
 
 "We was fighting at close quarters," says the pirate. "Some scurvy
 dog with a cutlass hacked me hand off and I've had this hook ever
 since."
 
 "Amazing!" says the sailor. "And what about the eye patch?"
 
 "Arrgh," says the pirate. "'Twas a seagull pooped in me eye."
 
 "A seagull?" asks the sailor, a bit incredulous.
 
 "Well, I should explain," says the pirate. "'Twas me first day
 with the new hook."

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