The funniest collection of jokes on the net!

 1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day.
 
 2. Nice legs...what time do they open?
 
 3. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my
    package.
 
 4. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?
 
 5. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
 
 6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one
    talking to you.
 
 7. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed
    Thrasher. Have you seen one?
 
 8. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth
    tonight.
 
 9. Wanna play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta
    me.
 
 10. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could
     ride you all day long for a quarter.
 
 11. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag.
 
 12. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.
 
 13. Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?
 
 14. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is
     only a light switch away.
 
 15. Are those real?
 
 16. You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.
 
 17. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even
     farther for that thing you do with your tongue.
 
 18. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by
     morning.
 
 19. (Look down at your crotch) Well, it's not just going to suck
     itself.
 
 20. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.
 
 21. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?
 
 22. Excuse me if I'm wrong, but is your name Helga Titsbottom?
 
 23. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my
     bedroom floor.
 
 24. My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it
     later.
 
 25. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by
     again?
 
 26. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.
 
 27. My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
 
 28. Hi. The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to
     you.
 
 29. My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.
 
 30. I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been
     drinking?
 
 31. If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I
     bet we could do it in public.
 
 32. Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why? Don't you
     like pizza?
 
 34. Baby, I'm an American Express lover...you shouldn't go home
     without me.
 
 35. Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I???
 
 36. Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in
     them.
 
 37. I lost my puppy. Can you help me find him? I think he went
     into this cheap motel room.
 
 38. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get you out of these
     wet clothes.

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