The funniest collection of jokes on the net!

 1. Grimace painfully while smacking your foreheadand muttering:
    "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!" 
 
 2. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World"
    incessantly. 
 
 3. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside
    ask: "Got enough air in there?" 
 
 4. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall,
    without getting off. 
 
 5. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors
    open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves. 
 
 6. Snicker as each person leaves the elevator. 
 
 7. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake
    and ask them to call you Admiral. 
 
 8. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for awhile, and then
    announce: "I've got new socks on!" 
 
 9. Meow occasionally. 
 
 10. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side. 
 
 11. Stare at another passenger for awhile, then announce "You're
     one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator. 
 
 12. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask "Is that your
     beeper?" 
 
 13. Say "Ding!" at each floor. 
 
 14. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons. 
 
 15. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope. 
 
 16. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to
     the other passengers that this is your "personal space." 
 
 17. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host
     body." 
 
 18. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button." 

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