The funniest collection of jokes on the net!

 1. But everybody looks funny naked!
 
 2. You woke me up for that?
 
 3. Try breathing through your nose.
 
 4. Sweetheart, did you lock the back door?
 
 5. (in the No Tell Motel) Hurry up! This room rents by the Hour!
 
 6. Can you please pass me the remote control?
 
 7. Do you accept Visa?
 
 8. ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
 
 9. On second thoughts, let's turn off the lights.
 
 10. And to think- I was really trying to pick up your friend!
 
 11. Hope you're as good looking when I'm sober...
 
 12. But I just steam-cleaned this couch!
 
 13. But I just brushed my teeth...
 
 14. I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs!
 
 15. Why am I doing all the work
 
 16. Did you know the ceiling needs painting?
 
 17. I think you have it on backwards.
 
 18. When is this supposed to feel good?
 
 19. You're good enough to do this for a living!
 
 20. Are you sure I don't know you from somewhere?
 
 21. I told you it wouldn't work without batteries!
 
 22. Did I tell you my Aunt Martha died in this bed?
 
 23. If you quit smoking you might have more endurance...
 
 24. No, really... I do this part better myself!
 
 25. It's nice being in bed with a woman I don't have to inflate!
 
 26. This would be more fun with a few more people...
 
 27. You're almost as good as my ex!
 
 28. You look younger than you feel.
 
 29. Perhaps you're just out of practice.
 
 30. They're not biscuit crumbs, it's just a rash.
 
 31. Now I know why he/she dumped you...
 
 32. Does your husband own a sawed-off shotgun?
 
 33. What tampon?
 
 34. Have you ever considered liposuction?
 
 35. And to think, I didn't even have to buy you dinner!
 
 36. What are you planning to make for breakfast?
 
 37. I have a confession...
 
 38. Are those real or am I just behind the times?
 
 39. Did you come yet, dear?
 
 40. I'll tell you who I'm fanatasizing about if you tell me who
     you're fantasizing about...
 
 41. A good plastic surgeon can take care of that in no time!
 
 42. Does this count as a date?
 
 43. When would you like to meet my parents?
 
 44. I hope I didn't forget to turn the gas oven off. Do you have a
     light?
 
 45. You could at least ACT like you're enjoying it!
 
 46. Keep it down, my mother is a light sleeper...
 
 47. My old girlfriend used to do it a LOT longer!
 
 48. Hey, when is it going to be my friend's turn?
 
 49. Please understand that I'm only doing this for a raise...
 
 50. How long do you plan to be "almost there"?

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