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 Marjorie regularly attended a Thursday night bridge club, and
 after a peaceful game or two with the ladies, she always went home
 to fix her husband dinner when he got home from work.
 
 Well, one Thursday, she's playing a great game and she has an
 incredible hand when she notices the time.  "Oh, no! I have to go
 fix my husband his dinner! He's going to be so angry if it's not
 ready on time."  And she dashes out of her friend's house, her
 great hand forgotten on the table.
 
 When she gets home, she realises she has very little time, not
 enough time to go to the supermarket, and all she has in the
 cupboard is a wilted lettuce leaf, an egg, and a can of cat food.
 
 In a panic, she opens the can of cat food, stirs in the egg, and
 garnishes it with the lettuce leaf just as her husband is pulling
 up.
 
 She watches in horror as he sits down to his dinner, and then
 she realises he is loving it!
 
 "Mmmm, darling, this is the best dinner you have made for me in
 forty years of marriage. You can make this for me any old day,
 mmmmm!" And that night they had sex for the first time in months
 and it was great!
 Needless to say, every Thursday from then on, she made this dinner
 for her husband. She tells her bridge cronies about it and they
 are all horrified.
 
 "You're going to kill him," they'd all say.
 
 Two months later, her husband died and all the bridge women the
 Thursday after the funeral attacked our new widow for being so
 callous.
 
 "You killed him!  We told you that feeding him that cat food every
 week would do him in! How can you just sit there so calmly and
 play bridge knowing you murdered your husband?"
 
 The wife stoically replied, "Ahh, I didn't kill him. He fell off
 the mantel while he was licking his ass."

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