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  Religion - General - Serious Business

 Father Joseph went up to Father Fred one afternoon and said, "I am 
 SICK of all this clean living. Tonight let's you and me go out and 
 party. We'll carouse, drink, whatever we want."
 
 Fred was shocked. "Are you crazy? This is a small town and
 everyone knows us. Besides, even if they didn't, they would see
 our clothes and know we were priests."
 
 Joe was ready for this. "Don't be silly. We won't stay in town,
 we'll go into the city where nobody knows us, and we'll dress just
 like anyone else."
 
 In the end, he managed to persuade Fred, and they went out that
 night and partied like professionals. 
 
 When they got back home at 5:00 AM, Fred's face became pale. "I
 just thought of something," he said. "We have to confess this."
 
 Again, Joe was ready. "Relax, I told you, I thought this all out
 in advance. Tomorrow, you go into church and into the
 confessional. I will come in my regular clothes and confess, and
 you absolve me. Then I go put on my garments, you come in and
 confess, and I'll absolve you."
 
 Fred was amazed at Joe's brilliance. 
 
 And so, Joseph went in later that morning and said, "Father
 forgive me, for I have sinned. My friend and I, we're both young
 men, and last night we went out and caroused. We became drunk, had
 carnal knowledge of prostitutes, used foul language, danced to
 wicked music."
 
 Fred answered, "God is patient and forgiving, and thus shall I be.
 Do 5 'Our Father's' and 5 'Hail Mary's' and you will be absolved
 of your sin."
 
 A while later, their places were reversed as Fred came in and 
 confessed everything in detail. There was a short pause, and
 Joseph answered, "I don't believe this. And you DARE to call
 yourself a priest? You will do 500 "Our Father's,"  500 "Hail
 Mary's," donate all your money for the next month to the church,
 and go around the church 500 times on your knees praying for God's
 forgiveness. Then come back and we'll discuss absolution, but I
 make no guarantees."
 
 "WHAT??!!" Father Fred was shocked. "What about our agreement??"
 
 Joe replied, "Hey, what I do on my time off is one thing, but I
 take my job seriously."

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