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  Health & Fitness - Medical - Urinalysis

 One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike
 behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a
 doctor."
 
 "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike
 replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the
 corner. Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you
 what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and
 costs ten dollars...a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor."
 
 So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the
 drugstore. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and
 asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and
 waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
 
 You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy
 activity. It will improve in two weeks.
 
 That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was,
 Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed
 some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from
 his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good
 measure.
 
 Jack hurries back to the drugstore, eager to check the results.
 
 He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the
 results. The computer prints the following:
 
 1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
 2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
 3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
 4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a
    lawyer. 
 5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never
    get better.

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