The funniest collection of jokes on the net!

 1. I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know
    I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde. - Dolly
    Parton
 
 2. You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly
    ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy. - Erica Jong
 
 3. I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my
    friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours.  I don't even
    want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours. -Rita Rudner
 
 4. My husband and I are either going to buy a dog or have a child.
    We can't decide whether to ruin our carpet or ruin our lives. -
    Rita Rudner
 
 5. I've been on so many blind dates, I should get a free dog. -
    Wendy Liebman
 
 6. Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. -
    Erma Bombeck
 
 7. If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing
    'em. - Sue Grafton
 
 8. I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. -
    Roseanne Barr
 
 9. I think, therefore I'm single. - Lizz Winstead
 
 10. When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men
     invade another country. - Elayne Boosler
 
 11. Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. -
     Maryon Pearson
 
 12. I base most of my fashion taste on what doesn't itch. - Gilda
     Radner
 
 13. In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want
     anything done, ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher
 
 14. I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine
     marriage and a career. - Gloria Steinhem
 
 15. Some of us are becoming the men we wanted to marry. - Glori
     Steinhem
 
 16. I never married because there was no need.  I have three pets
     at home which answer the same purpose as a husband.  I have a
     dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all
     afternoon and a cat that comes home late at night.   - Marie
     Corelli
 
 17. Nagging is the repetition of unpalatable truths. - Baroness
     Edith Summerskill
 
 18. If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing
     neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a
     little noose around your neck? -Linda Ellerbee
 
 19. I am a marvelous housekeeper.  Every time I leave a man I keep
     his house. -Zsa Zsa Gabor

Send this joke to a friend :-

Rate this joke :-